Christmas For Children

(Above: Dori the pony, one of the happy animals in Children's Fairyland's Animal Corral, wishes you a merry Christmas.)

One of the paradoxes of the Holiday season is that there are so few activities for the people the occasion was designed for – little kids.

But there are still a few quality offerings for little ones. The Habitot Children's Museum in Berkeley is holding a Gingerbread House Party on Dec. 21, when the tykes can decorate a giant gingerbread house with candles, cookies, sprinkles and other goodies, and the completed house will be donated to a local family shelter. Admission for the day is free.

Meanwhile, Children's Fairyland in Oakland is about to become Fairy Winterland. Every year from Dec. 14 to 23 the park is transformed by thousands of sparkling lights into a magical winter wonderland celebrating the holidays of many cultures: Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Las Posadas, Diwali and Chinese New Year.

This year, Fairy Winterland will feature the Tap Dancing Christmas Trees, puppet versions of "The Nutcracker" and Hans Christian Anderson's "The Shepherdess and the Chimney Sweep," magicians, jugglers, fire eaters, storytellers, daily dreidel sessions, a Festival of Lights parade every evening, and oodles of hot chocolate and hot cider.

Plus, of course, a visit every day from Santa Claus himself. Each one of Santa's little visitors will have a chance to have their picture taken with him, give him their holiday wish lists, and receive a special holiday treat.

Last, but by no means least, is "Sing You A Merry Christmas," an amazingly creative concert/sing-along/play for the 8-and-under set starring 11 adults and two kids – trumpet players Mercy Betraro and Nic Vamos of El Cerrito, both students at the School of the Madeleine in Berkeley. (He's in the 7^th grade; she's in the 8^th.)

The show starts with Mercy and Nic alone on stage playing a trumpet fanfare that rings through the entire cathedral, casting a spell on the audience that brings the hubbub to a hush almost immediately.

Suddenly, the audience is surrounded by dancing and singing life-sized toys - the adults in the cast – waving ribbon sticks through and over and around the audience.

Then comes a snowstorm (flashing lights), and the audience gets lost underneath a blanket of "snow" – a white fabric that they have to cooperatively pass over the top of their heads to get out of the "snowstorm."

The toys explain that they have to discover the true meaning of Christmas before they can be given out. They search for clues contained in locked boxes that open only when everyone sings the proper Christmas carol.

Finally, after all the clues are discovered, they have to be put in the correct order, and one lucky girl or boy is chosen to come out of the audience to do it.

Then Mercy and Nic play another fanfare (variations on "Here Comes Santa Claus") and out comes Santa himself to end the show.

"The show is written especially for little kids, and that's unusual," says Jennifer Ashworth, who wrote, directed and produced it with Kristen Jones. "Most times, you have to drag them along and tell them to be quiet, but this show is highly interactive. We want them to sing along."

"Sing You A Merry Christmas will be presented twice, on Dec. 14 and 21, at 11 a.m. Tickets can be obtained by calling 415-392-4400 or visiting gracecathedral.org/calendar.

Merry Christmas!

Kittens!!!

(Above: Ned and Ted. Or maybe Fred and Jed. Or even Mildred. Hard to tell.)

A few weeks ago, Gail Churchill, a volunteer with Island Cat Resources & Adoption, which serves Oakland and Alameda, got a phone call saying there were five kittens in an abandoned couch in someone's backyard.

As soon as she got there, she realized the kittens were only four weeks old – too young to trap safely. When they spotted her, they scurried up into the couch's innards.

"There were teeny little legs sticking out in all directions," she says. "And they were all screaming bloody murder."

The screaming attracted a neighbor, who helped her pry the couch open and catch the terrified little ones by hand.

"They were untouchable for a couple of days, but day by day they started to purr. Within a week they were pretty much people-friendly. And absolutely adorable."

The kittens – two longhaired orange-and-whites, two white and tabby mixes, and a breathtakingly gorgeous longhaired Maine coon – are four boys and a girl, temporarily named Fred, Ted, Ned, Jed, and Mildred until somebody adopts them and gives them their real names.

Now they're nine weeks old, spayed or neutered, vaccinated, and thoroughly socialized. Ted and Ned, especially, never stop purring, but all of them are extremely affectionate.

"But as adorable as they are, they should never have been born," says Gail. "Now that they have been born, it's up to us humans to take care of them, but we have to stop others from being born."

The Humane Society of the US says three to four million unwanted cats and dogs are euthanized every year. And countless others live out lives on the street filled with cold, terror and a never-ending search for enough food to live another day.

Some people say the solution is to round them all up and kill them. But the numbers tell a different story. A single pair of unaltered cats and their offspring can produce 65,000 cats in just five years. You can't kill them fast enough to keep up.

The smart way is to prevent them from being born in the first place. That's ICRA's mission: Trap them in humane traps, then whisk them to the vet for checkups, vaccinations and – above all – spay/neuter surgery.

If they're young enough to be socialized, they get the TLC the couch kittens got. If not, they're returned to their feral colonies, where their feeders will continue to care for them. But they won't be turning out kittens any more.

The couch kittens are now ready for adoption, and you can see their pictures on ICRA's website, icraeastbay.org. That's also where to make a tax-deductible donation or sign up to be an ICRA volunteer.

You can also send a check to ICRA, P.O. Box 1093, Alameda CA 94501. Or – and I saved the best for last – you can go to ICRA's annual Holiday Boutique on Dec. 7 from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. at the Alameda Elks Lodge, 2255 Santa Clara Avenue, featuring thousands of Holiday-related items – decorations, gift wrap, Christmas cards, centerpieces, hostess gifts, etc. - with prices well below retail.

And if you're feeding any backyard cats, God bless you, but that's only half the battle. Get those kitties fixed right away!

(BTW, all the nice things I said about ICRA also goes for a Berkeley-based group called Fix Our Ferals.)

Missing JFK

This is not the column I originally intended to write today. I wanted to follow the lead of Caroline Kennedy and focus on the triumph of her father's life, not the tragedy of his death.

I wanted to write about how charming he was, and how he inspired my generation to ask not what our country could do for us, but what we could do for our country.

But for those of us who are old enough to remember that terrible day in Dallas, the shock and pain of his assassination still hurts, even after all this time. I think few of us will really ever get over it.

In the immediate aftermath of the assassination, a consensus seemed to emerge that two reforms must be accomplished right away. First, we needed to tighten up the gun laws so crackpots like Oswald, who purchased the death rifle via mail order for only $21, couldn't get access to guns.

A simple background check would have revealed that Oswald not only was affiliated with some very dodgy extremist groups and defected to the Soviet Union for three years, he had already tried to assassinate retired Gen. Edwin Walker the previous spring.

The second thing we felt needed reforming was the culture of hate that was dividing the country.

We already had ample warning that there was danger afoot before President Kennedy went to Dallas. Some people had spat on U.N. Ambassador Adlai Stevenson there a few weeks earlier, and local residents sent letters to the White House begging Kennedy not to come because of the risk. On the day he landed, the local John Birch Society distributed ominous-looking leaflets with his picture and the words "Wanted For Treason!"

Needless to say, these much-desired reforms never came to pass. Despite the subsequent murders of Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, and the assassination attempts on Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan and Gabby Giffords, the gun manufacturers and their puppet group, the National Rifle Association, have not only blocked attempts at reform, they've been successful in getting laws passed that actually loosen gun restrictions.

And now the list of victims has been expanded to include college students (Virginia Tech), high school students (Columbine), moviegoers (Aurora) and even toddlers (Sandy Hook).

Meanwhile, the culture of hate is even worse now than it was in 1963. Some Americans hate other Americans more than they love their country. If you don't believe me, just go on the Internet and see for yourself. It's a deadly combination, and I fear for the future of our country.

At President Kennedy's funeral, Chief Justice Earl Warren asked a question that rings even truer today:

"If we really love this country, if we truly love justice and mercy, if we fervently want to make this nation better for those who are to follow us, we can at least abjure the hatred that consumes people, the false accusations that divide us, and the bitterness that begets violence. Is it too much to hope that the martyrdom of our beloved president might even soften the hearts of those who would themselves recoil from assassination, but who do not shrink from spreading the venom which kindles thoughts of it in others?"

Half a century later, that question remains unanswered.

Thuggery In The NFL

(Above:  Incognito and Martin)

Ever since I was a little kid, football has always been my favorite sport, both to play and – when it was obvious I wasn't going to be 6-foot-4 and 275 lbs. - to watch. But the NFL finally jumped the shark for me last week when the bullying scandal involving Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin of the Miami Dolphins broke.

According to news reports, Incognito was the ringleader of an ongoing harrassment campaign against Martin, the starting left tackle.

I won't repeat the sordid details. You probably already know more about the obscene, racist voice messages and emails, the violent threats, and the constant intimidation than you ever wanted to hear.

But what really shocked me was the reaction by NFL executives and the Dolphin players. According to them, Incognito is the good guy, and Martin is the bad guy.

His sin: violating the "sanctity of the locker room" by going public.

As one NFL front office man who preferred to remain, uh, incognito, said, "If Incognito did offend him racially, that's something you have to handle as a man."

Translation: It would have been perfectly OK if he had beaten Incognito to a pulp.

If you and I were co-workers, and I did things to you that was even a tenth as bad as what Incognito is alleged to have done to Martin, I would be out of a job before the day was out, and rightly so.

But if you had punched me out in retaliation, you would be fired, too, because that's not the way grownups act, especially in the workplace.

In short, the only place where the rules don't apply is the NFL, where the law of the jungle is the only form of discipline.

If someone harasses you at work, the proper recourse is to go to your supervisor or the Human Resources department. But Martin didn't have that option because, according to news reports, it was the Dolphins' general manager who turned Incognito loose on him in the first place in order to "toughen him up."

A lot of Dolphin players are saying Martin was somehow "soft" because he went to an elite school like Stanford. But he wasn't too soft for Jim Harbaugh, the toughest coach in football, who trusted him to protect Andrew Luck's blind side for two years.

The only one who has acted like a grownup in all this is Martin. But the consensus among sports reporters is that Incognito has a bright future in the NFL – the Raiders are already negotiating for his services – but Martin will be lucky if he ever gets to play another down.

When the devastating PBS documentary and book "League of Deception" were released last month, detailing how the NFL systematically covered up the dangers of football-related concussions, even imperiling little kids in the peewee leagues, many pundits wondered if the next generation of parents would ever be willing to allow their sons to take the risk.

But now I have to wonder: What parent would want his or her son to work in a business that rewards bullying and ostracizes people who have the guts to stand up to it?

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Cowboys. Or Dolphins. Or Raiders. Or any other team in the league.

Breaking Bread

Brrrrr! The weather is getting colder, and so are the hearts of the politicians in Washington, who just slashed $5 billion from the food stamp program. That means a cut of $36 per month for a family of four.

$36 may not seem like much, but for thousands of children in Alameda County, it means going to bed the last few days of each month with an empty stomach aching from hunger.

For senior citizens, it means having to choose between buying food or buying the medicine they need.

Politicians are fond of blaming the poor for the own misery, but what do children do to deserve this?

Or seniors, who believed the promises that their pensions would be waiting for them, only to see those pensions mysteriously disappear into some corporate bank account in the Cayman Islands?

Or the working poor, who rarely see their children because they're forced to work two or even three low-paying jobs to keep food in those children's mouths and a roof over their heads?

Or the families of soldiers who are defending our country in some very dangerous places abroad while their loved ones are going hungry back home. A pretty shabby reward for their service, don't you think?

That's why it's more important than ever for you and me to step up and try to fill the gap by donating to the Alameda County Food Bank, which serves a whopping quarter of a million people each year, two-thirds of them children or seniors.

The Food Bank isn't a single place. It's actually the hub of a vast collection and distribution network that provides food through 275 food pantries, soup kitchens, libraries, and childcare and senior centers throughout the county.

Wherever there are people in need, that's where the Food Bank goes, including sending Mobile Pantries to so-called "food deserts" - neighborhoods that don't have any grocery stores or other outlets for fresh, healthy foods, just liquor stores and fast-food chains.

Or the Free Summer Lunch program, created by a Food Bank volunteer named Michael Ross, which distributes free lunches to kids at local library branches. It's a win-win: The kids get both nutritional and educational enrichment while the libraries get an increase in memberships and summer use.

Another volunteer, Elizabeth Gomez, created the CalFresh (that's what food stamps are called in California) Hotline, which helps county residents wend their way through the state bureaucracy to get assistance. Last year, 80 percent of the people who were aided by this program had their applications approved, compared to only a 68 percent approval rate countywide.

If you'd like to help, you can go online at www.accfb.org or send a check to the Alameda County Community Food Bank, 7900 Edgewater Drive, Oakland CA 94621.

"This is a very critical time for us," says spokesman Mike Altfest. "In an ideal world we would get consistent support year-round, but most of our support comes at this time of year, during the holiday season. These next two months will determine how we operate the rest of the year."

Gandhi was right: "The measure of a civilization is how it treats its weakest members."

And so was Jesus: "Whatever you did for the least of my brothers and sisters, you did for me."

Happy Thanksgiving.

The Sweetest Sounds

(Above: Marika Kuzma)

One of the coolest treasures on the Cal campus -- right up there with the dinosaur bones in the basement of the Campanile and the Mark Twain papers at the Bancroft Library -- is the UC Chamber Chorus, a unique town/gown collaboration between students, alumni and townspeople.

The Chamber Chorus isn't as well known as the dinosaur bones and the Twain papers -- at least, not outside the music world. But inside that world it's very highly regarded indeed. Critics keep falling over each other reaching for new ways to praise them.

The San Francisco Classical Voice calls them "flawless." The New York Times calls them "first-rate." The San Jose Mercury News says they are "arguably the area's pre-eminent collegiate ensemble." And the San Francisco Examiner says they "left no syllable unarticulated and no musical marvel unexplored." The Chamber Chorus has regularly collaborated with renowned local and international artists such as the Abel-Steinberg-Winant Trio, Philharmonia Baroque Orchestra, Mark Morris Dance Company, and Finnish conductor Esa-Pekka Salonen.

And now they have been invited to perform on March 21 at the most prestigious musical venue of all — Weill Recital Hall at Carnegie Hall. They haven't finalized the program yet, but it will definitely feature Berkeley composers. You can hear the Chamber Chorus before then at two local concerts they're planning that will raise money for the trip.

The first concert, in collaboration with the Cal University Chorus, will be at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 10 at First Congregational Church, 2345 Channing Way (at Dana) in Berkeley, featuring some soulful music by Randall Thompson and Eric Whitacre as well as the Duruflé Requiem, the world premiere of Brantley Psalm 89, and the Bay Area premiere of John Tavener's hauntingly beautiful Funeral Canticle (the a cappella piece heard in "The Tree of Life"). The great Jonathan Dimmock will be the guest organist.

Tickets are $16 for general admission, $12 for students and seniors and are available at the door, by phone (510-642-9988) or online at http://tickets.berkeley.edu.

Then, on Dec. 8, the Chamber Chorus will appear at Orinda Community Church, 10 Irwin Way in Orinda, for a Sunday afternoon performance of Handel's Messiah, Part I, after which the audience will be invited to sing along to the "Hallelujah Chorus" and festive holiday carols. (Sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it?) That concert starts at 3 p.m. Tickets are $12 (seniors/students) and $20 (general admission) and are available at the door. For more information, email univchorus@gmail.com.

But wait! There's more! The Chamber Chorus, the University Chorus, and a guest Baroque ensemble will also perform Handel's Messiah, Part I (including the "Hallelujah Chorus") at a FREE concert Dec. 4 at Hertz Hall on the Cal campus. This performance, part of the Cal Music Department's long-standing tradition of presenting free noontime concerts, starts at 12:15 p.m. All three venues are cozy and intimate, and they all have wonderful acoustics.

If you can't make any of the local concerts but would still like to help defray the expenses of the Chamber Chorus' trip to New York for the Carnegie Hall gig, you can contribute online at givetocal.berkeley.edu/chamberchorus or send a check made out to "UC Berkeley Foundation," with "Chamber Chorus" on the memo line, to the Cal Music Department at 104 Morrison Hall, #1200/Berkeley, CA 94720-1200.

Best Wishes

The sweet sounds of Pachelbel's Canon filled the City Council Chamber at Berkeley's historic Old City Hall as Karl Reeh and Mugur Anghel, Leland Traiman and Stewart Blandon, and Melinda Paras and Barbara Englis became the first same-sex couples to be married in Berkeley after the U.S. Supreme Court threw out Prop. 8 and made marriage equality the law of the land in California.

The date was Oct. 11 - not coincidentally, the 22^nd anniversary of the day Berkeley became the first city in the country to pass a domestic partners law – a stopgap measure that, happily, is no longer necessary.

Karl and Mugur were married by Councilman Kriss Worthington, Leland and Stewart were married by Councilman Darryl Moore, and Melinda and Barbara were married by School Board Director Judy Appel.

All three weddings were different, reflecting the wishes of the participants. Karl and Mugur wrote their own ceremony, as did Leland and Stewart. But Melinda and Barbara chose to repeat the same traditional wedding vows they took 18 years ago, almost two decades before marriages like theirs were recognized by the state.

All three couples were beaming with happiness, and there were more than a few sentimental sniffles, too. But to tell the truth, I wasn't watching the brides and grooms.

I was watching their kids – who, after all, are the people Vladimir Putin says he's trying to protect by passing laws that would forcibly take children away from their gay or Lesbian parents.

Karl and Mugur are childless, but Leland and Stewart made their son Julian, 14, and daughter Rosalinda, 8, part of their wedding party – Julian as Best Man and Rosalinda as Flower Girl.

Melinda and Barbara's daughter Lorena, 14, was Maid of Honor for their ceremony, accompanied by her best friend, Maire O'Sullivan.

You should have seen the look on Lorena's face as she watched her mothers get married. She was SO proud of them. This day was her triumph, too.

As for Rosalinda, an adorable little moppet with a smile a mile wide, she was clearly having the time of her life. She giggled and bounced and danced as she watched her fathers tie the knot. Her big brother occasionally had to reel her in and calm her down, but nothing was going to stop her from celebrating.

After the ceremony, as I watched her race across City Hall's front lawn, gleefully shouting "DadEEEEEE!" and leaping into Stewart's arms, it was obvious that there's no way she needs protection from the two men she calls Daddy.

What she needs is protection from people like Vladimir Putin.

If, as most religions teach us, every human being is a child of God, it seems to me that discriminating against people for simply being the way God made them is blasphemy.

It's also bad public policy. We should be encouraging stable long-term relationships, not making it harder for them.

But mostly, I have a human reaction. It's so hard to find love in this sad world. If someone is lucky enough to find it, I say more power to them.

Or, as Pope Francis says, who am I to judge?

So whatever your sexual orientation - straight, gay, or somewhere in between - I hope you're with someone you love. And if not, I hope you find that special someone soon.